Damien
Our son Damien died on June 18, 1998 at the age of seventeen from an overdose of heroin. A few short weeks before he conquered one struggle and graduated from Glenelg High School and enrolled in the culinary program at Anne Arundel Community College. He planned to open up a college checking account by depositing his saved paychecks from his job at Glenwood Gardens. It never happened. A more powerful struggle, addiction got in his way.
Damien was a curious, energetic and busy child. He loved to take things apart, take care of pets, draw cartoons, and play with his sister. We never really experienced any problems concerning Damien until he began to have difficulty in school in second grade. We had him tested and discovered he was dyslexic and had attention deficit disorder. The school system did not offer assistance as Damien was on grade level and not disabled enough to be entitled to services, so we began a program of outside tutoring that would last through high school. For Damien, school was a source of immense frustration. He managed to pass every year with at least C’s but dreaded the beginning of every school year.
The beginning of the school year for Damien the year he turned thirteen was no different. He struggled with English and math, and agonized over playing baseball. How slight those things seem when we compare it to the real battle that began for Damien that year, addiction.
Like many parents, we did not comprehend that addiction is a disease. We struggled with Damien trying as a family to understand what was happening to our son. We became part of parent groups, treatment programs, and family therapy programs. We searched for new ways to support and encourage Damien. We had some successes and some failures. Throughout the process we realized what a loving, brave and determined son we were given. We also learned how many other teens suffered from the same disease. We met and developed relationships with other families. We supported each other in the rough times of relapse and celebrated in the victories.
In January of 1996, Damien was losing the battle. We decided to send Damien to the Anasazi Foundation in Mesa, Arizona. This outdoor program rooted in the appreciation of nature made a tremendous impact on Damien. He worked at his own pace and made a commitment to work on his recovery. When Damien returned home in May of 1996, he seemed to be able to deal with the stress of life and his addiction a bit better. He returned to his NA meetings and reconnected with his sponsor.
Over the next two years, he had a few relapses but he seemed to be more reflective and more determined to stay clean. Senior year he went on work-study, began a relapse prevention program with the Howard County Health Department, and began to plan for his future.
We will never know why Damien relapsed that night at Triadelphia Lake. What we do know is that we have to live with it. What we do know is that addiction is powerful. It seems more powerful than love at times and that it shakes faith. We know that there are many teens that suffer like our son did. Heroin took our son, but maybe his story will keep another young person alive.
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