Thoughts
About Damien |
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| VOLUME 1 ISSUE 1 | OCTOBER 1998 | |
| Gina, Meaghan and I want to thank
all of you for your kind words, flowers, chocolates, lotions, books, music, poems written,
videos, food, drink, letters, cards, Mass Cards, donations, support and most importantly
your love.
The idea of this newsletter is to share with you our thoughts and feelings about us and the things we're doing to keep Damien's memory present with all of you that he touched. I'd love to share with you that things are great, however I can't, they suck! C.E.Lewis wrote the best explanation of something that's unexplainable in my mind so I'll share part of that with you from "A Grief Observed" No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing. At other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting. Yet I want the others to be about me. I dread the moments when the house is empty. If only they would talk to one another and not to me. There are moments, most unexpectedly, when something inside me tries to assure me that I don't really mind so much, not so very much, after all. I 've plenty of what are called 'resources'. People get over these things. Come, I shan’t do so badly. One is ashamed to listen to this voice but it seems for a little to be making out a good case. Then comes a sudden jab of red-hot memory and all this 'commonsense' vanishes like an ant in the mouth of a furnace. DAMIEN SIGHTINGS Many of you have shared some wonderful dreams you’ve had about Damien. Damien’s friend Chris shared one of his with us, he dreamed Damien stopped over his house one day, Chris was so excited he told Damien he would be famous because he came back. Damien look at Chris and said I’m not coming back, I where I need to be and I’m happy, then he said good-bye.
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DAMIEN STORIES Many of you have shared some wonderful stories about Damien with us, thank you. What I’m asking is if any of you have stories we’d love to hear them. I’m putting together a kind of memorabilia collection that people can check out when they stop over to visit, it’s also a big comfort to us to have them. I’ll share one with all of you. Damien and I were out hiking one day when he turned and said to me "dad is that hard for you". I looked at him, then I realized what he meant. He went on to say it was so peaceful out in the woods. Those of you who know me probably know what he meant, for those who don’t known me, I frequently fill in the spaces of silence with a lot of rhetoric missing those sweet moments of just being with someone. Children teach us so much all we have to do is truly listen. Damien F. Massella (Blue Hunting Wolf) Memorial Scholarship Fund When Damien was at Anasazi his Indian name was Blue Hunting Wolf, I believe he got that name because of the rattle snake he killed, however one of the walkers who was with Damien told me they called him "the cook" because he never wasted any of the rations he received and made an assortment of interesting dishes from them. If you would like to donate to his fund please send whatever you can to the address below. Anasazi Foundation 1424 S. Stapley Mesa, AZ 85204
Please send us a story or sighting or just what your feeling. getralph@aol.com |
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